I always thought that if animals could stand up and walk and talk like us, they’d spend a lot of time telling us how bad we have been for them–killing them at will, fucking up their habitat (and our own) and just basically being shitty neighbors.
I think the new hunting should be hunting the hunters, while they are hunting. If you see one in a boat standing up to shoot a duck, you shoot him first. Gut shoot him so you don’t wreck the head, (you’re going to want to mount that) complete with the glow-in-the-dark-orange-retard-hat. Maybe tilt that bad-boy to a rakish angle and maybe have the fart-whistle in his mouth–the thing he calls the ducks with.