Razor Park

Razor Park

When I was a teenager I worked briefly at a car wash. It was hard work–when it was busy, it was ass-breaking work. I worked with a lot of black guys who were old pros at this.  These guys were quick and perfect and earned the lion’s share of the tips, wiping a car down in about 90 seconds after it went though the rollers and the drapes.

A couple of them were musicians.  One of them wound up in Lil’Ed’s Blues Imperials. The other guys were career hustlers who had more than one job and these guys loved automobiles.

Very often, when an Electra 225 came through, or in their parlance, “a deuce and a quarter, “they’d swoon.

A deuce and a quarter WAS the shit. Or a Coupe De Ville.  One guy (C.T.  as he went by) told me, “Tony, there is three french words every man of color knows, young brother. . .’Coupe de Ville.'”  And he would crack up laughing.   C.T. was an older guy with a phenomenal singing voice and a ferocious alcohol problem.  Of course, at the time, so did I.

Often he would sing a cappela over the sounds of the rollers in an angelic falsetto. Sam Cooke, Jackie Wilson. . .his rendering of “Lonely Teardrops” could make you cry.  He’d also sing Teddy Pendergrass and Marvin Gaye songs.  One time he sang a Crystal Gayle song that, in his voice, was so lovely, you forgot it was middle of the road country music.

“Don’t it make my brown eyes blue. . .”

We all tried to figure out what the hell he liked about that song and he would tell us he liked the way the song was “built.”

I still don’t know what that really means. I’ve always thought that because he sang it about an octave higher in pitch, that it was a tune that rewarded someone with a pitch-perfect upper register like he had.  Most of the time C.T. was a joy to be around.

On occasion, he’d get lit at lunch. One too many shots of 151 and the clouds would come in.

C.T. was from New Orleans.  He’d fled there years ago behind some trouble that he never really elaborated on.  He just knew he could not return. From time to time, he’d let everyone know that as a young man he’d stacked some time at Angola prison and that while he was there, he’d gone to barber school; wherein he’d whip out his straight-razor and turn its ugly, lean blade so that the light could show you the perfect white line of sharpness on its edge.

He would get this low voice on and say, “Hang around my house , Jim.  You’re gonna get a shave–closest one you ever had.”

Even the young guys avoided C.T. when he was in his cups. They told me it was not uncommon for black men of C.T.’s generation to carry a razor.  This way, if the cops picked him up he could say he was a barber.  They told me they, themselves, carried box-cutters and other work-tool like razors. Naively, I asked, “What for?” and Ray, a younger guy, said, “For people who look like you, little man.  Not all of you is so friendly.”

With that, the guys laughed and I realized something. In Lombard and Villa Park (pretty much lily-white suburbs), these guys were afraid of us.  I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised, but I was. Every once in a while, one of the guys would get a DWB– a “Driving While Black” ticket– never for speeding.  All of these guys lived on the South Side and knew well the tender mercies of suburban cops.  The tickets were always for chicken-shit stuff like an expired tag or  a busted tail light. Stuff white motorists would have skated by with a warning at best.

It opened my eyes a lot and it explained the deep rage of C.T. after he’d had a few belts.

Still, he was mostly good company; a funny guy with lots of stories about New Orleans. . .stories about  being in a band that played out at the racetrack back in the early ’60s–a very prestigious gig.

He told me he once opened for Earl King and had the temerity to end his set with “Trick Bag,”Mr. King’s signature hit.

“It was a fool thing, but Earl glared at me and I smiled and winked at him and he just busted up laughin, shakin’ his head.  He told me, “Son, it amazes me that you still on this side of the dirt.”

C.T. was the one who made me curious about New Orleans. I, even then, thought it was a magical place. . .like the inside of a snow-globe.  And even though I’d never been there, I could see it in my head, hear it in my dad’s Louie Armstrong, Pete Fountain and Al Hirt records.

On Fridays, the musician guys would change into their stage clothes before driving back to the city.

This was always the best day to avoid C.T. He’d take swigs of his Hennessy that looked like bites, and glower at them in their wide bells and platform shoes and silky Nik-Nik shirts. He’d mutter that they looked like sissies and then it would get quiet.  Ray would walk over and ask him,”You got something to say old man?” and C.T. stared right back with the thousand-yard stare and his voice would go up in pitch.

“You lookin’ for a shave, Son?”

I wanted to be anywhere else in the world right then.  It felt like all of the air had been sucked out of the room.

Ray’s eyelid would tremble and he’d say, “Knock it off, C.T.  You scarin’ the white boy,” and then they would fall out laughing.


More than once they got me with this act.  But at times, after drinking lunch, C.T. was genuinely scary.  One time, an asshole tossed the keys to his Benz to one of the guys and called him, “Smokey,” as in, “I want it waxed too, Smokey.”

C.T. carved up the guys back seat with cuts so fine, the guy didn’t notice it til the next day.  The next day he came in and the dealership next door had to find him new leather upholstery.  He came over to us and said, “I left my car outside Gianotti’s and some asshole slashed my backseat.  Can you believe that shit?”

C.T. said, “It could have worse.”

The guy got pissed.

“What the fuck are you talking about?  This is going to cost 500 bucks.  Fuck.”

C.T. snapped right back, “They could have set it on fire.  Burned the whole car. ‘Lease now you don’t have to deal with all that . . .smoke.”

For a moment they locked eyes and they both nodded, just long enough for them to know.

Published in: on May 24, 2012 at 5:26 pm  Comments (2)  

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2 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Oh man, Tony, this is so good!

  2. The injustice in “the land of the free” has almost been forgotten about. How can we forget when the wounds still run so deep. Thank you for sharing a piece of history, especially the truth about “DWB” ❤ ~ LuckyLeilani

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